Taylor-Leigh
Welcome to Week 2 of Intuitive Eating! Whether you are following along my journey, joining in with me, or are on a journey yourself, you are welcome here as we explore our own ways of ridding our minds of diet culture, tuning into our bodies, and finding freedom within food and life. You also might remember that I am not a medical professional and am simply sharing my story so that you may resonate or feel encouraged to express your own.
Let’s get into Week 2!
In Week 1 of my journey, I introduced intuitive eating into my life, and began to notice habits, behaviors, and thoughts surrounding food and eating that were ingrained in me. These are things like what to eat, how much to eat, and when to eat. In Week 2, I’m continuing to hone in on mindless versus mindful patterns, with more of a focus on physical sensations within my body. Additionally, I have incorporated more foods that I had previously been avoiding, aka “fear foods.”
Incorporating fear foods
Fear foods or “challenge foods, are foods that you may feel afraid, anxious, or uncomfortable eating. The fear of a food may come from irrational thoughts about how it impacts your body or weight or from negative memories of a food” (Castro, 2018, youngwomenshealth.org). It is common for dieticians and counselors to have their clients who are recovering from eating disorders to introduce fear foods back into their diets in a way that is best for the individual, for the purpose of losing the stigma attached to those specific foods. I know personally that with my own fear foods, my fear was that I had no control over certain foods, and that if I took one bite I wouldn’t be able to stop eating.
For example, I never feared eating as much watermelon as I wanted because in my mind, watermelon is “healthy,” it’s water content would fill me up with low caloric density, and I had no guilt attached to the food. On the other hand, if I were to have (vegan) ice cream, I would feel guilty, anxious about getting fat, and out of control after one bite.
If you feel anything close to these ideas, you are not alone, especially if the thought of eating your fear foods makes you anxious. The best way I know how to put this, is that you have to rip the band-aid off. There may be concerns and fears that stem deeper than the food. It may help to work with a mental health professional, but I must say that the intuitive eating workbook, as well as the book both hone the fact that our return intuitive eating is an inside job. Ripping the band-aid off and just eating the food that you have been depriving yourself of is the only way to get to the “other side.” After all,
the only way out is through.
The idea of introducing fear foods back into our diets is that, initially, you can and might eat all you want, but after you give yourself permission to do that, then the novelty will wear off and you will be able to eat them as often or occasionally as you wish, AKA intuitively.
This is exactly what happened to me when I bought a jar of peanut butter this week.
Peanut butter is that food for me. In fact, for my mom and I both. She says I love it because she ate it so much while she was pregnant with me. Thanks, mom. Anyway, I would never buy it because I would eat it with everything and also straight out of the jar.
So I bought it and allowed myself to have as much as I wanted, whenever I wanted. And a funny thing happened. It’s almost as if, through learning about intuitive eating and following along with the workbook to learn more about myself, my mind is already, after only two weeks, starting to adapt to my new and improved mindset around food.
The peanut butter didn’t have as much control over me as I anticipated. Don’t get me wrong, the first spoonful was orgasmic, but after a few days I realized that the richness was beginning to feel like too much for me, and led to feelings of lethargy and nausea. Not to mention it slowed down my digestion in an uncomfortable way. So I listened to my body and backed off. And just like that, peanut butter lost it’s power over me. I can go buy more and eat it seldom with no problem. (I still love it though).
Now I am in control, and leading with my bodily sensations.
Becoming in tune with physical sensations
As I’ve mentioned, I am coupling my intuitive eating journey with guidance from the officially official intuitive eating workbook. Alongside developing self-compassion, the mission of the workbook and intuitive eating in general, is to develop an attuned relationship with your body.
This week, I’ve been exploring sensations in my body that I may have been suppressing, or attaching judgment to. Eating is a natural, instinctual thing we do as animals, but as humans, many of us let our brains take over our bodies. We do other things instinctually like breathe and pee, and run if we’re being chased, but the development of different diets and body images has led us farther away from hunger and fullness cues. I think that there is also something to be said for the fact that diet and body image issues have, for the most part been developed in privileged parts of the world where an access of food is the norm, as is a practically infinite amount of choices.
Coming from a history of disordered eating and/or one that has been steeped in diet culture, eating is mostly a mental game. But what our bodies yearn for is care, respect, love, and harmony. Recognizing hunger and nourishing ourselves appropriately is not only a necessity to sustain life, but an act of self-care. Just like our bodies don’t like when we deprive ourselves of food, they also don’t like when we stuff ourselves to numb our emotions. Emotions are meant to be felt and responded to in a productive way. Our bodies are talking to us and it’s time to listen. The more we are able to tune into our bodies instead of just our minds, the more we develop a harmonious relationship with all parts of our selves.
So, in my process of returning to my natural intuitive eating cues, here are a few things I have noticed this week:
- When I mindfully eat (sitting down, minimal distractions, eating slowly and intentionally), I am able to stop when I am about 80% full and feel overall more satisfied.
- I still do the stand-up-snacking-because-I’m-passing-through-the-kitchen thing, but I’m 100% aware of it and try to opt for a sitting-down-with-a-plate snack instead.
- It’s actually quite difficult to eat without distractions in my house (I care for my grandma with dementia full-time who has had an especially agitated week), but I am making more of an effort to find peace, like sitting outside to eat. That way I know and feel my meal as nourishing self-care.
- I don’t always recognize hunger in my stomach. I also feel it in my throat, my energy, & my mood.
- My threshold for time between meals is about 4 hours. Then I start to feel low energy and/or hangry.
- I indulged in more processed foods and noticed that, in general, the food was more satisfying for momentary pleasure – it was short-lived and did not truly satisfy my hunger and energy levels. Some other fear foods that I introduced were chips, peanut butter, pudding, nuts, cereal, overall more processed foods. Therefore, these are not staples for me, nor do I typically desire them, but they also do not have control over me anymore.
- My partner and I had an ice-cream date at a new spot in the city and it was delectable. I got peanut butter fudge and caramel pecan swirl. We sat outside on a bench, tasted each other’s and really sunk into the pleasure of the experience. It was also surprisingly filling!
- Contrary to the above, I also indulged in food that I had previously avoided. But this time I ate only to the point of satisfaction, and focused on the company I was with and how wonderfully the food was prepared and tasted. My meal tasted even better the next day as I made another meal of it!
- My body feels best on whole plant-based foods, but I’m no longer afraid to include the processed sauces, desserts, etc, for flavor & satisfaction.
- I am truly starting to feel what best fuels my body. As an artist/athlete, I know it can and will vary depending on what I’m doing physically!
Happy intuitive eating! Catch you in Week 3!
Hi, I’m Taylor-Leigh, a newbie intuitive eater and passionate life journey-er. I write about simple living and nourishing ourselves so we can be our favorite versions of ourselves.
(last photo by Todd Ferrante)