Do you feel guilty when you feel good? When things are going well, you have your basic needs met & then some extra to live comfortably, do you feel bad knowing of all the people that have it worse than you?
You are not alone.
Ever since I became somewhat of an adult and gained some perspective on the world, a part of me has felt guilty, and that’s okay to feel, but not when it prevents us from stepping into our full potential, our highest selves.
I think back to my ethics course in college. One of the only ideas the whole class could agree on was this: everything we do is for our own self interest.
Taking a bath, getting a massage – yes, those are without question for our own self, but helping other people? Donating to charity? What about those?
While it might take time, money, or energy away from us, we do it because we know it’s a good thing, the right thing to do, and that in turn, makes us feel good about ourselves.
My point is not to say that we are all selfish people. I mean, we are, to an extent, but rather, I’d like to focus on the ripple effect of feeling good. How do we help the world by wallowing in our privilege?
Taking care of ourselves should be our number one priority. My therapist reminds me often about the airplane analogy – The flight attendants always say to put on your breathing mask first in case of emergency, & then help those around you.
From an energetic standpoint, we want to me emitting positive energy into the world and those around us, right? Well that energy starts from feeling good within ourselves.
Here are 14 ways to navigate this weird yet totally normal feeling, how I navigate it at least, and how it’s a very non-linear, subjective to each individual, and ongoing process.
- Stop playing the “I have it worse than you card.”
What good does it do to keep bringing yourself down? If someone starts this game with you, listen to their story and understand their point of view. They may feel better after sharing and being heard.
2. You had no choice of what you were born into.
It simply is not my fault that I was born into one of the most privileged countries in the world, while others were born into harsh conditions, to say the least. But are those people wishing they were me? Probably not. It’s all about perspective. This doesn’t mean I can’t help however I can, by donating to charities and doing my best to reduce my environmental footprint. But it also doesn’t mean that I have to go join the Peace Corps in order to feel good about myself, but that’s a whole other ethical debate.
3. Part of what you’re feeling is an actual thing.
It may be white guilt. Or it may be guilt about class, body type, being able-bodied, etc. Acknowledge it & move on. Use your privilege for good.
4. Feeling bad about feeling good will not make anyone else feel better.
Being poor will not make poor people rich. Being sick will not make sick people healthy.
5. Therapy is a judgment-free zone.
But if your therapist is not, find a new one. I used to not want to talk about my problems because I feel like I have it pretty good compared to others. But suppressing my feelings just prohibited me from moving forward.
Don’t knock therapy before you try it. Or if you don’t have the access, find a safe person or outlet to express yourself & gain tools to understanding and expressing your emotions effectively.
6. Someone will always have it better or worse than you.
Always. Stop comparing.
7. Everyone is on their own journey.
When you think about it we are all nonphysical energy in a physical time-space reality. Sometimes I think about how we could all just be in a grain of sand. We’ll all be gone at some point but our energy will still be a part of the infinite. Honor that in yourself. Honor that in others.
8. Stop thinking privilege is bad.
Maybe some billionaires are not good people. But that doesn’t mean that everyone that lives comfortably are bad people. You don’t know where they started, and you don’t know where the lesser privileged will end up. We all have potential. Also what good does hating on others do? It just tells the universe, don’t give me what rich people have, they’re bad people!
9. Everyone wants more than they have.
But if you feel guilty when you have it, what message does that convey? Confusion.
I think back to my 9th grade history professor, who boiled down a few philosophies: Life sucks because we want stuff.
Work on being content with what you have. How? By focusing on what really matters.
10. Think of the times you’ve felt really good.
In those moments, how did it affect you and your surroundings? Were you more productive, more appreciative, more satisfied, doing what you love? How does it affect the people around you? Did they feel better about themselves, have greater energy, were more inspired?
11. Don’t underestimate the little things.
What is life really about anyways? Cars and clothes and fancy meals? The color of our skin or how much money we have? To me, it’s about the way we treat each other, our character, having fun, learning new things, being satisfied.
Intention, tone of voice, eye contact, a smile, a wave, a good deed – these little things go a long way. Pay it forward.
12. Showing up as your full authentic self gives others the permission to do the same.
The same goes true the other way – talking down to yourself gives others the permission to disrespect you. Flip the script. Empower others by empowering yourself.
13. “You cannot get through a single day without having an impact on the world around you…
What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make.” -Jane Goodall, chimpanzee whisperer. I’m not talking about changing the world (but don’t underestimate yourself). Easy for you to say Jane, you pretty much have changed the world. But really, we’re talking about the little things we do every day that create a ripple effect.
14. “We have the choice to use the gift of our life to make the world a better place or not to bother.”
Thanks again, Jane.
We need to stop preventing ourselves from embodying our full potential. We’re not just holding ourselves back, but we’re holding back the world around us. We are all on this earth to experience fully what life is about, unique to each of us.
Feeling good makes the whole world feel better. After all, we don’t see the world how it is. We see the world how we are.
About me: I’m Taylor-Leigh & I philosophize about intentional living and being our best selves.